Friday, February 26, 2010

Dirty Harry

I'm probably going to write a lot reviews in the coming time. I've decided educate myself in the world of film, starting with the crime classic Dirty Harry.

Clint Eastwood plays inspector "Dirty" Harry Callahan who's trying to track down a serial murderer named Scorpio. That's all you need to know.

Dirty Harry is definitely a classic, Eastwood is great, Scorpio is freakin' crazy, and it's really good.

Tuesday, February 23, 2010

Spirit: Stallion of the Cimarron

This is one of the four animated films that got owned at the Oscars by Spirited Away, the others being Ice Age, Lilo & Stitch, and Treasure Planet.

It's a story of the Old West being told by the point-of-view of a stallion. In the movie, the horses don't talk, so the story is narrated by Matt Damon as the main horse.

The music choice in the movie is pretty interesting, Hanz Zimmer does the orchestrated music while Bryan Adams fills out the soundtrack. In other words, Bryan Adams is to Stallion of the Cimarron, as AC/DC is to Maximum Overdrive.

This is definitely one of my favorites. I want to know who at Dreamworks thought that they could make a horse movie that guys will also like, and freakin' pulled it off, because I want to shake their hand and say, "You, my friend, are a genius."

Princess Bride

Do I even need to explain it? This is a movie that needs to be seen.

This is one of those fairy tale spoof films like Robin Hood: Men in Tights or Ella Enchanted (all of which star Cary Elwes). What's weird about it is that it wants to be a spoof, but it also tries to take itself seriously. It doesn't seem all that funny to me since everybody keeps quoting it.

Like I said, it needs to be watched.

Sunday, February 21, 2010

The NeverEnding Story 2

I love Neverending Story by Michael Ende. It's a great book, and I highly recommend you check it out. At least that way, I won't feel like the only person in America that has actually read it. The movie is, well, an '80s classic. Sure, it strays from the book, frequently, but what movie doesn't. Also, it was only the first half of the book. The second movie is supposed to be the second half of the book.

Bastian finds himself in Fantasia after hearing an SOS from the Childlike Empress. Meanwhile, a witch by the name of Xayide, makes a machine that takes away Bastian's memories one by one for every wish he makes on AURYN. Something is destroying Fantasia, or at least preventing it from being accessed from the real world or something like that. What is this force that the movie speaks of? The Emptiness. Not the Nothing like the first movie, but something COMPLETELY different. Yeah.

This movie is terrible. It didn't even try to adapt the second half, instead it uses the second half as a device to cash in on the first movie BY REMAKING THE FIRST MOVIE. The acting is annoying, it doesn't make any sense, and it's stupid as hell. The good parts are where it cuts to Bastian's father, actually reading the story as it goes, and the special effects aren't bad for the time.

It's a stupid, vacuous, pretty looking sequel and it deserves to burn.

Saturday, February 20, 2010

Heavy Metal (1981)

I was looking through my family's VHS collection when I found an official copy of the animated cult classic Heavy Metal. The fact that my family has this blew my mind (then again, both of my older brothers were born in the '80s.

This movie is a collection of short films centered around a glowing green orb reeking havoc around the galaxy. Some how, they fit in some cool sci fi, John Candy, kick ass music, and animated T & A.

I really like this one. Sure there's animated breasts but it's also a really cool movie. I say check it out. For some reason, Wal-Mart sells DVDs of this movie. Fascinating.

Sunday, February 14, 2010

Valentine's Day & Percy Jackson Double Feature

Since I have no girlfriend, I decided to spend this Valentine's Day in a movie theatre, treating myself to a double feature. First, the apply named, star-studded, romantic comedy Valentine's Day. Second, the totally NOT Harry Potter with Greek mythology Percy Jackson & The Olympians: The Lightening Thief.

Valentine's Day

This movie is basically one of those day-in-the-life-of movies, hence the abundance of stars like Jessica Alba, Aston Kutcher, George Lopez, Anne Hathaway, Julia Roberts, Jennifer Garner, Taylor Lautner, Emma Roberts, Taylor Swift, Jamie Foxx, and so on. Different characters have different stuff going on coincidentally on Valentine's Day, Aston Kutcher and George Lopez are florists, Anne Hathaway is trying to date someone while she pays the bills as a phone sex operator, Taylor Lautner and Taylor Swift play a high school couple, the list goes on.

This is a hilarious movie. I may not have been in a relationship, but I still love seeing them portrayed on screen. Funny as Hell.

Percy Jackson & the...

I've never read the books but it does "sound" interesting, it is essentially Harry Potter crossed with Greek mythology (contrary to the first paragraph).

Somebody stole Zeus' lightening shaft thing and everyone thinks the culprit is Percy Jackson, Son of Poseidon. After being attacked by a Fury, Percy is sent to a special school camp for demigods called Camp Hogwarts.. I mean, Half Blood. Percy's mom is captured by Hades so NOT Harry, NOT Ron, and NOT Hermione go on a fetch quest to get her back.

It was alright, nothing special. Though I do have one main gripe.


Stephen King's The Shining (1997)

A week ago, I drove to my local humble used music store and found the DVD set to something called Stephen King's The Shining. I bought it out of sheer curiosity because this wasn't the Stanley Kubrick classic. After doing some research, it turns out THIS was a 3-part TV miniseries that was written and executive produced by Stephen King himself because he didn't like how Kubrick took his book and turned it into a movie that had fuck all to do with the book save for the basic gist of the story. By the way, I've never read the book but I probably should.

No use explaining the story because, most likely, you already know it.

Steven Weber blew my mind as Jack Torrance. Now I'm not saying Jack Nicholson was bad, he was awesome, but the thing of it is, when one looks at Nicholson, one can tell that he's gonna go batshit by before the movie ends. Pretty much every one of his films has him as a some sort of psycho (except Bucket List, I think). Steven Weber, on the other hand, looks like a normal human being with emotional demons. He is probably the most realistic version of Jack Torrance, he's more believable in the role.

Courtland Read is really good as Danny. I also like that fact that Tony is an actual imaginary friend, rather than Danny's finger in the Kubrick movie.

There's really no use for comparing this to the Kubrick film. Both are completely different from each other. Comparing the movie to a TV miniseries is like comparing the movie to the book.

I fucking love this so much, I'm just going to call it a film. It's definitely up there with Pleasantville in my opinion. Check it out.

Saturday, February 6, 2010

Tokyo Godfathers

Tokyo Godfathers is basically an Anime movie that can be described as "Three Hobos and a Baby".

Three homeless people (a middle aged man named Gin, a homosexual named Hana, and a runaway teenaged girl named Miyuki) find an abandoned baby and have to take care of it and find the parents.

This movie definitely has a lot more twists than Three Men and a Baby, but then again, THAT movie was a comedy (directed by Leonard FREAKIN' Nimoy) which was about the misadventures they had taking care of the baby. THIS movie is about the misadventure the hobos had trying to find the parents of the baby, while looking into the backstories of our main characters.

It's pretty good. If you're in to Anime, check it out.