Sunday, March 28, 2010


Usually, Miyazaki does animated films based off of his own ideas. However, Ponyo is more or less inspired by The Little Mermaid by Hans Christian Anderson.

A goldfish who secretly runs away from her father (who is human-ish, don't ask) gets rescued from a jar in a polluted shore by a 5-year-old boy named Sosuke (Soe-skay). Sosuke likes his new pet and names her Ponyo. Ponyo is then taken back to the depths by her father. Through the most epic use of magic, Ponyo then turns in to a real girl and goes back to Sosuke. That's all you need to know.

As is usual with Miyazaki films, the animation is stunning. The characters are fun and it's a great story. I watched the Japanese dub, so I don't know how well the American actors are, like Liam Neeson and Matt Damon to name a few.

It's a Miyazaki film, freakin' watch it.

King Kung Fu

I got nothing.

It's something so cheesy, so cheap, so unbelievably stupid, it's a marvel.

Watch it on Netflix.

Saturday, March 27, 2010

Battlefield Earth

Battlefield Earth is a film based on a novel by L. Ron Hubbard, who's most famous for starting Scientology. The film, which stars Jon Travolta, is infamous for being one of the worst sci-fi movies ever.

In the year 3000, Earth has been taken over by aliens from the planet Psychlo. Humans are endangered, and they plan to revolt.

Even though this film is unbelievably infamous, I surprisingly don't hate it. It's somewhat interesting and kind of entertaining. It is definitely something that needs to be seen to be believed.

I sort of liked it.


Dune is a scifi novel written by Frank Herbert. David Lynch made a movie based off of it, released it in 1984, and it is now a cult classic.

It's hard to really explain th plot of Dune, so look it up, or watch it.

I liked this movie. Kyle Maglachlen is great, Patrick Stewart is in it, and the effects are freakin' awesome.

It is epic.

Friday, March 26, 2010

Far Cry

Out of shear boredom, I decided to watch an Uwe Boll movie on Netflix instaplay.

Uwe Boll is a German filmmaker notorious for making crappy video game movies, like Alone in the Dark, Bloodrayne, Postal, House of the Dead, and, yes, Far Cry.

A journalist is investigating an island guarded by , uh, guards, which has something to do with her uncle's disappearance. She seeks the help of a former special forces partner of the uncle. They go to the island and blow shit up.

Although the acting is... bad, except the former special forces guy, I was somewhat, for lack of a better word, charmed by it. Something about it just made it seem like the good kind of corny that would make me watch over and over.

I, for some alien reason, liked it.

Tuesday, March 16, 2010

Halo Legends

I just want to say that I'm not a big Halo fan. I don't HATE Halo, I'm just not that interested. I've played the games and I like the multi-player and that's about it.

I also like movies that are pretty much collections of short stories, like Heavy Metal.

Halo Legends is a movie with eight short stories. The first two has Cortana narrating the story to Halo, the other six being actual stories.

I really liked this one. It's an interesting watch.

Sunday, March 7, 2010

Spirited Away

If you're not familiar with the film work of Hayao Miyazaki, fix it.

This is the story of Chihiro, a 10-year-old girl who's parents have been kidnapped and turned into pigs by a witch who heads a bathhouse for spirits. I would explain more, but that'll take too long.

This a wonderful, beautiful, imaginative, animated film and it deserves to be seen. That's all I can really say. It's really good.

Saturday, March 6, 2010

Digimon The Movie

I remember watching this in the theater when it came out and this is the first time I've watched it since, and I don't mind saying, it's a delightful, nostalgic, piece of shit.

If you don't know what Digimon (Digital Monster) is, it's basically Pokémon crossed with Tron. If you want to know the details than look it up.

The film itself is really just 3 short stories connected together with the use of a character called Willis. I could tell you about each part, but screw it, it really is only for people who watched Digimon growing up.

I do remember watching the show but I don't really remember a lot of the main details. Really the only enjoyment I had from this movie was laughing at the ridiculousness of it along with a sprinkling of nostalgia. The artwork looks as if it was done by Hayao Miyazaki, if his budget was cut, and he was high, but it still looks cool. This being the Americanized version, the music is mostly stuff by the popular-but-cheap bands at the time, so they have bands like Barenaked Ladies, Smashmouth, and so on. Good selection though.

I personally found it pretty enjoyable. Recommended only to Digifans.

Friday, March 5, 2010

The Birdcage

In this remake of La Cage Aux Folles (1978), Robin Williams and Nathan Lane play a gay couple whose son is getting married to the daughter of a senator played by Gene Hackman. Hilarity ensues.

This is freakin' funny. Funny funny funny funny funny funny funny. That's all I can really say.

Gojira (aka the original Godzilla movie)

NOTE: This is the original Japanese film, NOT the edited, American dub called Godzilla: King of the Monsters.

I never really watched Godzilla growing up. I saw the infamous Roland Emmerich film, saw a trailer for Godzilla 2000 and wanted to see it but sadly that didn't happen. So I basically know of Godzilla from references in TV shows and movies (i.e. Reptar from Rugrats)

If you're someone who wants to educate yourself on Godzilla movies, this is where you start.

In Japan, a giant monster from the depths of the ocean starts terrorizing ships and later coastal cities. Scientists and government officials are trying to figure out how exactly they're going to kill this monster. Simple, basic story.

I think the American equivalent to this film would have to be The Fly from 1958. Think about it, both are cautionary tales of "science-goes-wrong" and are really good because of how much they take themselves seriously with B-movie plots.

The acting is pretty good (this coming from someone who hasn't watched a single Japanese film up until now), the effects are really good for the time, and the music is iconic.

I really like it and if you're someone who grasps the concept of time when it comes to movies, unlike MOST kids my age, check it out.